At least once, you’ve done this.
Me: Oh my god. My period is late.
Me: AM I PREGNANT?
Me: Wait…
Me: Still a virgin.
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: I must be carrying the next baby jesus.
Me: Seems legit.
(Source: bringme-s-u-m-m-e-r, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)
March 3, 2012
Conversation with God
- Me:God can I ask you a question?
- God:Sure
- Me:Promise you won't get mad
- God:I promise
- Me:Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
- God:What do you mean?
- Me:Well, I woke up late,
- God:Yes
- Me:My car took forever to start,
- God:Okay
- Me:at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait,
- God:Huummmm...
- Me:On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call.....
- God:All right
- Me:And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
- God:Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
- Me (humbled):OH
- GOD:I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
- Me:(ashamed).........
- God:The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
- Me (embarrassed):Ok
- God:Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
- Me (softly):I see God
- God:Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
- Me:I'm sorry God
- God:Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things, the good & the bad.
- Me:I will trust you
- God:And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan.
- Me:I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.
- God:You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children......
- For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. Isaiah 55_8
Remember Aqua from the Cheetah Girls?
Reblog and click the picture.
MY CHILDHOOD IS RUINED YET AGAIN
OMG WHAT IS THE WORLD BECOMING
OH MY WHAT DID I JUST WATCH
(via tinybrain)
February 4, 2012
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
February 4, 2012
